Two Will Do
Author: Michael Rice
Singer: Michael Rice

Two Will Do
Author: Michael Rice
Singer: Michael Rice

Location: Carlow west, Rossmore and the Ridge

Mickey gives an account of his encounter with the law after a long session in various hostelries, together with sound advice as a result of the experience!

‘Twas a Saturday in October in 1983
Just another Saturday or so it seemed to be;
But that day has made history which was very sad:
It was the day that Mickey Rice blew in the plastic bag.

It was down in Ballinabranna that we all worked hard all day,
We were getting out potatoes and drinking mugs of ‘tay’.
In the evening I cam home full of muck and clay,
Says the wife’ Now go and get a drink, it’s been a long hard day’.

So down to the grove I did go as happy as could be.
I met an old acquaintance, ‘twas Billy Motley.
Says Motley ‘have you got the car?’ I had sure as a rule.
So we sailed away to Crettyard and on to the Salmon Pool.

Now we stayed there for quite a while then we drive on to Cainesbridge;
We drank away ‘til closing time then headed for the ridge.
Coming down along the hill a light shone in the sky,
It was from a white Granada and it pulled up closely by.

Now I opened up the fly window and the guard put in his nose.
He says ‘You have drink taken, too much I suppose’.
He handed me a plastic bag, the smallest ever seen.
He says ‘Now blow in that until you turn it green’.

As you know I turned it green, he says ‘now step out, please,
You must leave your friend behind and please give me the keys’.
Says Motley ‘Don’t you worry Mick, everything will be alright’.
So they took me to Kilkenny as the stars were shining bright.

The doctor he was waiting and he read for me the rules.
He says ‘You can give me blood, or urine if you choose’.
So he handed me a bottle and I filled it to the top
And he put my name upon the cap in case it would get lost.

It was in Castlecomer court my license I did lose.
I got 12 month’s suspension for drinking too much booze.
Now I have my license back the truth I’ll tell to you:
Whenever you go drinking boys, remember TWO WILL DO!